Losing my Religion
by ladystrider77
Summary: A short fic in which Kurama puts his feelings for Hiei into song. K/H
1. Chapter One: The Song

This story HINTS at shounen ai. Don't say I didn't warn ya, cuz I did. So far I'm looking at this as a one shot unless anyone requests otherwise. It's not publish quality writing but I was bored.  
  
DISCLAIMER I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, cuz if I did, I'd be writing more episodes with Hiei and Kurama getting together!!!! I don't own any song I put in here either. They belong to REM and various others so there.  
  
'this' demonstrates thought  
  
Kurama sat on the couch in his empty house, gnawing on the tip of a pencil. He had taken a job as the lead singer for a small band that played local clubs. It didn't pay much but it helped him get through college. And at this rate it wasn't going to pay anything if he couldn't come up with a hit, something that would really ensnare the audience.  
  
He had run out of muses, exhausted all sources of inspiration. "You would think," he stated aloud, "That in a life this long, a life lived for hundreds of years in two worlds, that I could come up with something." He stared at the blank pages as if he meant to burn a hole in them. He flung them on the floor and ran to the bathroom. He stared at himself in the mirror. He didn't look to bad for being a little over 300 years old. His green eyes were still piercing and his crimson hair still perfect. 'Crimson, like those eyes, the deep almond-shaped blood coloured eyes.' He shook his head rapidly; thinking of the forbidden child would get him nowhere.  
  
Or would it? Hiei was the only thing he cared about that he had not written about thus far. Maybe crimson eyes were exactly what he needed to think about. The fire demon had crossed his thoughts a lot lately; his thoughts and his dreams. If only he could put those feelings into words his troubles would be over.  
  
"Hiei is the only one of my friends that doesn't come to the shows, and Yusuke and Kuwabara aren't clever enough to guess who I'm writing about, so being cryptic shouldn't be an issue." He stated to the paper he had recovered from the floor.  
  
'I really should stop talking to myself,' he thought, wandering over to his desk where he kept his most precious possession, a picture of the entire group, taken their junior year of high school. Even Hiei had consented to be in the photo, but only after much coaxing from Kurama and Yukina, the only people he would bother listening to. The half Koorime was trying desperately to get as far to the edge of the group as possible and was scowling his worst, only to be pulled in just in time by Kurama.  
  
No one would have suspected that the scowling figure who lacked somewhat in stature would have stolen what the great thief had guarded so desperately, his heart. But Hiei had made Kurama want to give him his heart. He made the fox want to forget everything; he could loose everything he had ever known if Hiei was at his side. But chances were that would never happen.  
  
He put this picture on the desk and sat down, staring at intently before voicing the turmoil of his heart through futile words.  
  
A WEEK LATER  
  
Kurama stood on stage, tuning his guitar and glancing nervously to his band mates and his friends in the audience for approval. As the lights went dim and the drummer started, he could have sworn he saw a black flash outside the window beside the bar, but that couldn't have been right, Hiei was in Mukuro's service and much too busy for something like this. Besides, there were too many humans here for the demon's liking. He strummed his guitar and began to sing the ballad of his lifetime.  
  
Life is bigger  
  
It's bigger than you  
  
And you are not me  
  
The lengths that I will go to  
  
The distance in your eyes  
  
Oh no I've said too much  
  
I set it up  
  
He closed his eyes and concentrated intently on the song as the volume of his smooth baritone voice rose.  
That's me in the corner  
  
That's me in the spotlight  
  
Losing my religion  
  
Trying to keep up with you  
  
And I don't know if I can do it  
  
As he said the word spotlight, one solitary floodlight focused on the red head. Towards then end of the chorus his voice cracked with emotion, but he fought it off in time to recover.  
  
Oh no I've said too much  
  
I haven't said enough  
  
I thought that I heard you laughing  
  
I thought that I heard you sing  
  
I think I thought I saw you try  
  
At this, he would have bet his life that he had just seen a flash of mischievous claret eyes. But he dismissed the thought, and supposed that his longing for Hiei had twisted itself into imagination to bring him here.  
  
Every whisper  
  
Of every waking hour I'm  
  
Choosing my confessions  
  
Trying to keep an eye on you  
  
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool  
  
Oh no I've said too much  
  
I set it up  
  
Yusuke had gotten the entire club clapping enthusiastically in rhythm Kurama's voice and the medium paced music. He sung louder and louder, putting every ounce of his heart and soul into the song, as if he were singing it for Hiei alone.  
  
Consider this  
  
The hint of the century  
  
Consider this  
  
The slip that brought me  
  
To my knees failed  
  
What if all these fantasies  
  
Come flailing around  
  
Now I've said too much  
  
I thought that I heard you laughing  
  
I thought that I heard you sing  
  
I think I thought I saw you try  
  
Now he was positive of one of two things, either Hiei was really there in the shadows, smiling his crooked smile at him, or he had gone totally insane from missing him.  
  
But that was just a dream  
  
That was just a dream  
  
One lone tear rolled down his frustrated face. If that really was his fire demon standing among the shadows then he knew now how he felt. Hiei was no fool and he would know immediately who the words were directed at. If it was not, then he had completely lost his mind. Or perhaps the two options were one in the same.  
  
Aight, that's it. There's my little story, Review please, flame if you like, constructive critisism is always welcome, thanks for reading. -Lady  
  
The song "losing my religion" belongs to rem. 


	2. Chapter Two: Hiei Returns

Chapter Two  
  
Hey people!! Thank ya for your enthusiam!! NINE REVIEWS!! I'm really happy!!! I'm thinking about upping the rating..then upping it more later, what do you think?  
  
Same stuff..i still don't own yyh..I do own a Kurama action figure that is sitting prettily next to my comp, sitting pretty.  
  
CHAPTER TWO  
  
As the music ended Kurama smiled and bowed for the audience, then hastily put down his guitar and ran out among the crowd. He had to know, he just had to know if that was Hiei running around inside. The dim lights made it nearly impossible to tell one blurry being from another, especially since he was still blinded from the spotlight.  
  
As the eager fox made his way toward Yusuke and the others to ask if they too had seen Hiei flitting about. Just before he could reach the table he was yanked into a corner. The person who pulled him would not let him turn around and see them. They held his arms to his sides and whispered seductively in his ear. "Not very cryptic, are you fox?" The unmistakable voice spoke to his ear, warming the soft flesh with hot breath.  
  
"I..I don't know what you mean." The kitsune said, stuttering over the words. He knew he hardly sounded confident, he could feel himself trembling in the strong embrace.  
  
"You know exactly what I mean fox. I'm no idiot, and you're no good at hiding how you feel." Hiei said, making sure to get his mouth close to Kurama's ear as he spoke. The redhead shivered and gulped, attempting to speak. "Outside Hiei, there's..people in here." Hiei pushed Kurama through the crowd by the small of his back.  
  
"Hn. It's none of their business what we do. You and your silly ningen customs." They arrived at the side door that lead to an alley. As soon as they exited Kurama remembered all his curiosity at seeing Hiei back in his life.  
  
"I didn't expect to see you for a while, I thought you'd stay in the Makai, with.Mukuro." He said, staring at the ground. Hiei did not fail to notice the way his eyes darkened with sadness when he said her name.  
  
Hiei smirked his famous wicked smirk. "I thought you were smarter than that fox. Sometimes even I tire of being a mercenary and need..a change of scenery." Kurama looked up with hopeful eyes at this comment. "Back to your less than cryptic song in there. About..me I'd imagine. Correct?"  
  
Kurama tried to speak, but no words would come. He looked into his companion's eyes and every form of cognitive speech he had ever known left him. He just nodded, hoping that would be sufficient. He smiled, as if proud of himself for figuring it out, then began to pace around the alley.  
  
"I suspected as much, Kurama. But why? Why would someone like you, an ancient demon, respected or feared by every apparition in the demon world.want a child who's own mother didn't want him? Why would you want me? I see no logic in this." He stared intently as his forlorn friend tried to come up with a response.  
  
"I love you Hiei. I love you hopelessly, and no matter what you, me or anyone else does, I won't stop loving you. I can't. All I want to know, is do you feel the same?" He spoke with unexpected confidence and assurance. Hiei started blankly at Kurama. "No"  
  
Sorry that took so long for an update.and I know its short..and its an evil cliffy..but I promise.there's a happy ending for our favorite couple coming up!! 


	3. Chapter Three: The Dream

Guess who still doesn't own it? ME!! AHAHA so yeah, thanks for the reviews and READ AWAY and then review some more.  
  
The youko almost fell backwards at this comment. He never suspected that his whole world would shatter at the sound of one syllable from those delectable lips. 'Come on fool, you should have known he wouldn't feel the same. He's distant and cold. He's also extremely powerful and important to Murkuro, why would the heir to a third of the Makai waste his time or affection on me? I, who was once so great, but now a mere human, a human with useless wasted emotions, why would he ever care for me?"  
  
"I'm sorry I took up your time Hiei, I was wrong." He held back the stinging tears and tried to walk into the street, but Hiei stopped him, scowling.  
  
"You didn't let me finish, fox. I don't feel the same way you do, because I don't know how, I don't know these human emotions. I care for you in my way. I've never felt for any other creature what I feel for you. It's really quite confusing. I'm a warrior, and a solitary one at that, I'm not supposed to care for anyone but Yukina, especially not a baka kitsune like you. But I do have feelings for you, deep feelings" He said, looking in Kurama's tearful eyes every second. The pair of jade orbs Hiei was currently looking into had forgotten their tears, and their owner's mouth hung open, aghast. 'That's the most I've ever heard him say at one time' Kurama thought, still surprised. "What..what kind of feelings Hiei? Describe them to me, and then I'll know if you love me." "Hn. Stupid ningen. This is a waste of time, but since you insist." He walked up to Kurama and looked straight into his eyes. "This kind." the fire demon cut himself short as he pressed his lips to Kurama's. Hiei's lips were warm and soft, but Kurama could tell Hiei had never kissed before. The kitsune gently took control of the kiss, massaging Hiei's inexperienced mouth with his own. Even though he had dominance, Kurama could feel meaning and passion emanating from the smaller's kiss. Hiei possessively wrapped his arms around Kurama's slender form and broke the kiss, leaning on Kurama's shoulder. "Does that answer your question?" Kurama nodded, unable to speak, yet again. His every fantasy had come true; his song that he had poured his heart and soul into had returned his beloved to him, and for the first time, to his arms. Then all of a sudden, the world seemed to swirl, and Hiei was ripped from his arms. "HIEI!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, but it was too late, he was gone and Kurama was alone in his bed. Tears welled up in his eyes "How can that have been a dream? It seemed so real? This just wasn't fair. He had gotten his only desire just to have it taken from him? This moment seemed eerily reminiscent to a song he had known as a child. He sang through his sobs, with his head in his hands.  
  
You are my sunshine my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are  
grey, you'll never know dear how much I love you, please don't take my  
sunshine away. The other night dear, when I lay sleeping I dreamt I held you in my arms,  
but when I woke up, I was mistaken, so I hung my head and cried.  
You were my sunshine..my only sunshine you ma..  
  
He gave up on the last syllable and fell aside sobbing. How could something so perfect be taken away so quickly? 


	4. Chapter Four: The sun shines again

I originally wrote this shorter, but felt bad for doing so, so Im lengthening it and replacing it. Enjoy and keep reviewing!! I love you guys you're the best! I still can't believe people actually like my writing..I hate it.but anyway here you go. (still don't own)  
  
Chapter Three  
  
Kurama sat up and held his knees to his chest. This was by far the cruelest thing that had ever been done to him. Was this Inari's revenge upon him for all his past transgressions? It was a pretty good one if it was. He held a hand to his lips. He could still feel the warmth and moisture of the fire demons' kiss. His mouth even felt swollen, as if it had endured a long evening of kisses at his command.  
  
What a mess he was, the great Youko Kurama sitting here sobbing over a dream. 'But it felt so real.' He silenced that part of his mind and commanded himself to get it together.  
  
Kurama looked up when he heard a noise from the window. There Hiei stood, looking perplexed. "Now what are you sobbing about fox? Don't tell me you're going to be like this. I go outside for no more than an hour and come back to this?" He shook his head and sat down beside Kurama.  
  
The redhead sat up, baffled as Hiei wiped away his tears. "I..I thought it was all just a dream, you coming back and telling me you."Hiei shushed him with a finger to his lips.  
  
"I'm right here. And I'm not going anywhere. Stupid fox." He actually chuckled at the end of his sentence.  
  
'Does he find my anguish amusing? Is this funny?' Kurama was about to say something on the issue when Hiei captured his lips in a tentative embrace. When they broke apart, Kurama frowned. I thought none of it was real, that I was still alone, and you wouldn't come back. I was sure I would never feel your lips on mine again." Hiei just shook his head at this.  
  
"Wrong again. Sometimes your ignorance is insufferable." Kurama ignored his scathing remark, smiled and lunged forward, capturing the small figure in a crushing embrace. "Kurama, I can't breathe. KURAMA I SAID I CAN'T BREATHE!" The fox released him after all this yelling, still smiling. "I love you Hiei." "Hn." Kurama inwardly laughed. He knew he might not ever hear those words from Hiei, but Hn from a real fire demon was better than a love sonnet from a dream. They sat staring at each other for a moment. "Now don't think I'm going to be able to dawdle around this world with you all the time. I came here to tell you how I felt, because it was driving me insane. You will stay here for a year, maybe more and finish your dealings with these people. Then you will come to the Makai with me, I have things to do and I want you there."  
  
Kurama blinked at these comments. He had just been commanded! 'Oh well, this is not worth an argument. I'll just let him think that's what will happen. And then we'll see.' Kurama stood and went to get dressed, and Hiei took this as a sign that he could move, and sat in the windowsill, watching the redhead.  
  
'I'm not a dream fox. And neither are you. You're real and you're mine.' He thought with a great amount of pride.  
  
I, like Kurama have sort of run out of inspiration for this bit. I might do a continuation where Kurama and Hiei have a.like a bonding ceremony thingy. And then discover that there's a spell that will allow them to have kiddies. Whahca think? Yes or just leave it at this? Review and tell me. I'm also think about writing a Hiei song-fic, but that will remain a oneshot. So..go hit that review button and tell me!!! 


	5. Authors Note

Okey dokey. Thank you all so much for you're reviews, you've all been very kind and helpful. What I meant with the kid thing was, this random scientist (Who is actually someone we are all farmiliar with) becomes obcessed with Kurama and Hiei. He somehom manages to get DNA from both of them and make two or three genetically combined clones. Later the scientist dies and two of the children are left at a very young age with their biological parents. (I am not overlooking the fact they are in fact both males as some authors do) But If none of you guys will read or like it, then I wont do it ( you are the reason for the writing, so you're word goes. Review away  
-Lady 


End file.
